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The Hidden Side of Life: Trials We All Face

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I have come to the conclusion that everyone, no matter how blessed, faces trials.

Some are ordinary: how to pay a bill, find a job, or cope with everyday stress. Others are far heavier. I remember a week a few years back when I was praying for friends and loved ones dealing with heart bypass surgery, Parkinson’s disease, accident recovery, cancer, and stroke. Any of these can feel insurmountable, especially when a doctor uses the word “terminal.”

Thirty-nine years ago I sat with my dad after he received a terminal diagnosis. He chose a treatment that might give him five more years if it worked. Even while facing his own death, his thoughts centered on making sure his family knew how he felt and that they would be all right without him. I never fully accepted how immediate his condition was, and I missed chances to share my feelings with him. Maybe it was the awkwardness of youth or simply not knowing how to say what I felt.

His sudden death left me more open with others for a time, unwilling to leave things unsaid. Over the years, though, I’ve drifted back into the habit of keeping those thoughts inside.

Our home church began a ministry several years ago for people caught in addiction. Has there ever been something you wanted so badly that your body ached and your mind could focus on nothing else?

When most people hear “addiction,” they think of alcohol or drugs. The list is much longer, and the damage is often the same—to the person struggling and to everyone around them. I have yet to meet anyone who cannot be pulled into some activity or fascination that consumes time, money, and energy, sometimes at real cost to themselves or those closest to them.

You may think, “How can I be addicted? I’m a good person,” or “I’m a Christian.” Consider a few less obvious possibilities: exercise, computer use, food, gambling, sex, or limerence (an obsessive romantic attachment). Any of these can become addictive.

Addiction usually involves impaired control, preoccupation with a substance or behavior, continued use despite consequences, and denial. The drive for immediate relief often overrides concern for long-term effects. Stopping suddenly can bring anxiety, irritability, cravings, nausea, and other withdrawal symptoms.

In truth, most of us have addictive tendencies. Unchecked, those tendencies can become addictions. Is there something you feel you have to watch or attend, even when it crowds out other priorities? (I’ve wondered more than once whether following every football or baseball game counts.)

I have spent much of my life encouraging young people to stay away from drugs and alcohol, and I have lost friends and family to both. I chose not to use them myself, yet I know the potential exists in me, just as it does in other members of my extended family. One step in the wrong direction can open a door. I am also a creature of habit. At times I have wrestled with behaviors that felt close to obsessive-compulsive patterns. Having worked through those, I now try to stay alert so I don’t slip into unhealthy routines.

If your church or a local nonprofit offers a recovery program, support it with whatever gifts you have. If a friend needs someone to go with them to a meeting, don’t stay home out of fear that people will assume you have a problem. Just be there.

Addiction is potentially within each of us. Some forms are simply less visible or less stigmatized, but they still affect our lives and the people we love.

Read more of Randall’s writing through his books available in our Store.

When Life Tries to Steal Your Blessings – Strive

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Throughout my life, I have experienced both moments of extreme happiness and the depths of depression. Circumstances, relationships, and sometimes our own decisions can push us to either end of that spectrum.

Early in life, I often looked to others to make me happy. Not that I couldn’t find happiness on my own, but having someone else to focus on seemed to make it much easier. Their worlds, thoughts, and hopes gave me a welcome change and the chance to experience new things, which brought a sense of happiness. This pattern, however, also created codependency that would devastate me whenever those relationships ended, swinging me to the opposite end of the spectrum.

After working through those periods and realizing this was not a healthy way to live, I began developing my own internal “happiness meter.” It allowed me to find simple pleasures in the things I enjoyed—without everything revolving around other people.

In many ways, my blessings became the places, the activities, and the memory-making opportunities. The companions were still important, but they took on a different role. They were no longer the center of what I was doing; instead, they were fellow enthusiasts who simply enjoyed the same activities, places, or events.

Happiness can be found in simple things. It doesn’t require big, elaborate trips—the kind I once thought were necessary. Real joy often comes from completing a project, improving one’s health by reaching a new physical goal, learning new skills, or discovering fresh opportunities to explore.

If you know me, you know I love fiddling. It has been at the close to the center of my life since I was about eight years old. I love hearing and watching other players, being around fellow musicians, and most of all, performing with my fiddle. Sharing my time and energy to uplift the tradition brings me great happiness—whether at a regional fiddle contest, a concert, or special events like the Grand Master Fiddler Championship, now held at the theater at The Factory in Franklin, Tennessee in September, which I have hosted for 18 years, or judging at the Smithville Jamboree in Smithville, Tennessee.

Though the hours can be draining, exhilaration always comes from the activities, the music, and the people.

No matter what your joys in life may be, the old devil can try to steal the very blessings that bring you uplift.

Recently, while headed to Smithville, my reliable old Explorer decided it wasn’t going to make the trip—about halfway there. On a holiday weekend, I found myself sitting on the side of the highway in over 100-degree heat, trying to figure out what to do next. After about 40 minutes, I arranged for a wrecker service from back home to tow the vehicle to a local garage. A good friend then dropped everything to drive me to the airport so I could rent a car. After loading my belongings into the rental, I went home, changed out of my sweat-drenched clothes, and got back on the road. I arrived only five hours later than I had originally planned.

The event itself went beautifully; we managed to work around the heat and sporadic rain. Toward the end of the second day, however, another challenge appeared: an unexpected storm drenched my merchandise table and ruined a significant amount of inventory.

It would have been easy for the breakdown, the anticipated costs of the tow and repairs, and the loss of merchandise to leave me angry, sad, frustrated, and short-tempered with everyone around me. But that didn’t happen. I stayed in my place of blessing and refused to let the old devil steal my joy, no matter what he sent my way.

You can control where your mind goes and how you react. This trip could have been miserable, but I chose to make it anything but. I shared wonderful conversations with old friends, heard amazing music, and watched talented dancers. I even had an interesting conversation with the tow truck driver during the roughly hour-long trip back home.

Making the best of a bad situation can keep your blessings intact and thwart the enemy’s attempts to steal them. I wish that for you always.

Read more of Randall’s writings in his books at the Store .