A tool bag full of answers

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With my nose pressed against the window, I anxiously watched for the arrival of my father from work. With him he would often carry a large, black leather tool bag which, for a little boy like me, held a world of adventure.

After dinner, Dad would spend time at the kitchen table working on various fix-it projects.

I would walk by the table where he was working on some gismo. It is amazing how many little parts would be meticulously set out where they could be cleaned, re-worked and replaced. Every tool had it’s purpose.

“Can I help you daddy?”

“Yes, son. Get me my pliers out of my tool bag,” he said.

I would search through the bag to find the pliers. With each odd looking tool I would say, “Daddy, what do you do with this?” He would tell me, even though he knew I would ask again the next time. Finally, I would find the tool he asked for and hand them over.

He would say, “Just in time.” He would do some little something with it and then set it neatly with the other tools.

Thinking back, he probably did not need those pliers, but he found a use for them anyway just so I could say I helped him fix whatever it was.

Usually as he was nearing the end of his project, I’d run in and ask, “Dad when will you be done?”

He’d say, “Soon son, soon. When I get these tools cleaned up.”

My father was a man of tools, and with them he accomplished great things. The tool bag to him was like a doctor’s stethoscope or a preacher’s bible — it helped to solve the mysteries in his life.

He had the ability to fix almost anything. I am sad to say the mechanically-minded trait did not pass down in my genes.

Much of what my father did for a living rotated around his ability to fix things.

During his life, he worked for several companies fixing everything from Singer sewing machines to Royal typewriters. The job he retired from spoke highly of his abilities to adapt to new technologies. He was responsible for keeping the computers at the IRS running. I’m not talking about these little personal computers. I’m talking about when super computers ruled the world, and they took up the space of nearly a football field.

When he passed years ago, many of his tools came to me. Some are still packed away as he left them. Many of the tools I have no idea for what they could be used. I keep them simply because they were his.

More and more, I find myself doing various jobs around the house. While I am still not mechanically inclined, with patience I usually manage to figure out how to fix whatever it is. Many times I find myself looking through his tool bag for tools that might be put to use in my objective.

My father Floyd Franks died in August 1987 and one year later in August 1988, God sent another fatherly figure into my life, a television icon to all the world, but to me someone who in many ways picked up sharing fatherly advice in my life. One day, the late Carroll O’Connor and I were standing in a pawn shop set on “In the Heat of the Night” looking into a case of tools and knives. We talked about how you can often judge the character of a man by how he cares for his tools.

If he has respect for them, that will be reflected in his life. My Dad took care of his tools and he shared that respect with me.

Today we often depend upon others to fix things we cannot. Oftentimes this tendency carries over into other aspects of our lives as we look to others to fix things which are broken.

Patience and respect will lead you to solutions that can solve many problems.

The tools to fix them are often just inside your own tool bag; you just need to take the time to look.

These are lessons, we also share with Pearl and Floyd Franks Scholars as they embark on their lives continuing the traditional music of Appalachia. Learn more about how you can help make a difference in the lives of our scholars at www.shareamericafoundation.org.

Living in the right path

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Knowing one’s best direction in life can be an ever-changing debate within your own head.
As someone who has spent their life in entertainment, I often look at my situation to weigh my perception of what I do with the reality of the logistics of life.
I find myself fretting over some aspect of where my road has taken me and wonder whether I veered from the appointed path set out for me.
Was I meant to do something different in life? Did I choose what God intended?
Those are questions that I am sure many people debate in his or her head especially as the children are screaming at each other in the back seat of the car; the bills on the table appear to be much higher that any hope of payment; or the honey do list becomes a small paperback.
I learned many years ago from actor Carroll O’Connor in a deep conversation about the human condition and differences in people that in life we often spend our time listening to the problems of others as he or she seeks empathy. He told me in that shared experience there is a sense of uplifting that the sharer can gain if received and responded to properly while the listener can overt a draining of spirit while sharing comfort.
“Everyone has the same problems,” he told me. “Different folks just have a different number of zeros attached to them.”
So in some way that list of things people endure mentioned above along with a long list of others is not unique to us. We all have moments of doubt when we wonder if we are on the right path. Shouldn’t be easier if we were? Not necessarily.
We can be within the path set forth by God before we were a twinkle in our father’s eye in His purpose for us to fulfill His mission, and life could be very difficult.
If we have accepted Christ into our life then we are in His light. We may choose to put on a blindfold at times as we make a choice outside our appropriate path but He is always with us shining His light waiting for us to reflect what He is sharing.
When I begin to sink into the questions of my choices, my circumstances, my feelings, I then remember that ultimately, I am striving in His will and if He wishes me to be in a different situation, He will open the doors, and reveal the path.
I just need to remain ready, prepared and always be working to improve the opportunities within my life, career, and my relationships with family and friends.
Carroll’s “Archie” character might have told me to “Stifle” as I began whining about my life and after a few lines proceeded with “You Meathead, You….”
Sometimes we need to say that to ourselves, “You Meathead, You!” Life is a blessing, even in the worst situation you can experience; there are others who have greater need in the world. So as “Archie” could have shared: “Be like that real American John Wayne, and pick yourselves up by your boot straps there, and just get on with it. Do what is right and God will’s look after you.”

Choices for life

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In life we are constantly faced with choices. We are blessed or cursed with the gift of free will, depending on your perspective.

From the smallest detail of “Do you want fries with that?” to “Do you take this woman to be your wife?” in America, we have endless choices.

People can choose to work hard and by doing so achieve great success and accumulate wealth. Some choose to dedicate their energies to benefiting humanity.

Each choice we make sets us upon a path. Even the simplest thing like having one extra cup of coffee in the morning could change your schedule enough to prevent you from being involved in an auto accident.

As I look back on my choices, there are some I would like to change in spite of the fact I do not know what path changing them would have brought. Nevertheless, I cannot change them; I only have the power over what lies ahead, not behind. I can only try to learn from those past choices.

Using my television exposure as a podium, I have spent much of my life speaking to youth about living a successful drug-free life. My work yielded the attention of the National Drug Abuse Resistance Education Officer’s Association. Consequently, they made me an honorary D.A.R.E. officer. I have encouraged thousands across the country to make the choice not to use drugs. I do not know if any made that choice. I can only hope that at least one did.

No matter how you try to influence others, the ultimate choice lies with them. With that choice also lies consequences. When you make a choice that affects you, your family or even others you do not know, it is up to you to take responsibility for what that choice brings.

Many times, people try to shift the blame if things are not going as they planned. I think we pick up this behavior as a child. It is the old “He did it” approach to avoid punishment. I do not know about you but that never worked for me. It only made the punishment worse.

Some years ago, I attended a teen/parent forum that included a discussion from both parents and teens on the issue of parents making choices for their children that affect other children. Choices such as providing alcohol for teen parties or even adults turning a blind eye to drug use by not being vigilant supervisors, as they should.

Some parents may say “I’d rather have them doing it where I can keep an eye on them,” but when other children are involved, I imagine their parents might like to have a say and an eye involved in the situation as well. At least that is what the parents at the forum said.

Each choice we make, in some way, affects someone else — sometimes people we do not even know, such as that driver who might be injured by a teenage drunk driver coming from a supervised party where alcohol was served.

Don’t get me wrong. I am not focusing on these parents exclusively. The teenagers admit that even if parents are not providing, some of them will find a way to get alcohol themselves from older siblings, buying it themselves at establishments which do not card them or by sneaking it from a parent when they are not watching.

Unfortunately, these teenage actions expand to various types of drugs, including prescription pills out of medicine cabinets as well.

No matter what choice you make, they are your choices. You ultimately have to live with what results from them. So, if you are making a life-changing choice, become informed about what may happen depending on which path your choice leads you.

Even if it turns out to be the wrong choice, at least you did not go down that path with blinders on.

What’s Next?

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I can remember standing nearby as I watched my mother move through business projects.

She would finish one task and from her mouth I’d hear the words, “What’s Next?”

In many respects that is how I have looked upon my entire life and career. I complete one task, one project, or reach a goal, then I refocus my attention on the next one at hand.

By flowing from task to task, always keeping one’s eyes looking forward, many goals may be achieved.

Many people rest upon the completion of objectives, spending time looking back at the achievement.

This can often be a great moment. That is as long as only a moment is spent looking back.

It is so easy to allow past successes to prevent our forward momentum.

Sometimes it is simply in getting tied to the ways we have done something and being unable to change as the world changes around us.

What’s Next?

The answer could be I need to re-evaluate why the latest project did not eclipse the success of an earlier one.

What’s Next?

The answer could be I should define a path that brings us closer to achieving a goal we have never even imagined we could accomplish.

What’s Next?

God grants each of us the ability to imagine it, the will to strive towards it, and the hope to achieve it.

I pray your “it” enlightens, emboldens and uplifts the world and all of us that wonder “What’s Next.”

 

Keeping one’s word sets the tone

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I have been told there was a time when a person was judged upon the words that emanated from his mouth.
A person’s character could be seen in his deeds and by what he would say and sometimes what he would not say.

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From where does honor come?

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When I was a little boy, I remember holding my dad’s hand while walking on the sidewalk along the main street of our county seat.

He seemed so big even though the large buildings of brick and stone along the street made even him look small by comparison. The cars seemed to speed buy as folks rushed about in life trying to fill their days with making a living.

But what sticks in my mind more than anything from those walks, is how our paths crossed with others. No matter who passed they seemed to have a kind word to share with my father. Often complete strangers seemed to spend a moment of their time with as dad shared a funny story seemed to lift their spirits.

He was not someone who you might think of as being an important person. He wasn’t a star; he was never elected to office, he just worked like almost everyone else we came across on our walks. No matter whom we saw, he treated people with respect, without regard for their social economic level, where they came from or what they looked like.

I think one of the greatest lessons I learned was that more than the respect he showed for others, the importance of respecting oneself was paramount. That respect reflects the depth of how others will honor your life, he once told me. If you respect yourself, others will do so as well. That respect will shine in your work, your friendships, your service, and in how you walk down the street. Respect helps foster the honor that only you can earn.

Are there other ways one acquires honor? Is honor a cloak that you can put on and take off at will?

I would say that honor is something that you acquire over time, much like putting on layers of clothes in the winter to stay warm. Once the layers are in place, you find yourself warm and comfortable.

Webster defines honor with a list of terms, including respectful regard, esteem, worship, reputation, exalted rank, fame, magnanimity, scorn of meanness, self-respect, chastity, an outward mark of high esteem and glory.

Through the Congressional Medal of Honor, our country pays tribute to our soldiers who show valor in action against an enemy force.

There is a proverb, which says, “Ease and honor are seldom bedfellows.”

I believe that there are many honorable people left in this world, although they are becoming harder to find.

Many people who cloak themselves in years of honor can at times find the weight of the layers a difficult load to bear. As the temperature rises, for some they begin to toss the layers aside to suit their personal needs and feelings.

It was poet Nicholas Boileau who said, “Honor is like an island, rugged and without a beach; once we have left it, we can never return.”

I tend to agree — once you begin to throw off the layers, you are on the road to no longer being an honorable person. Unfortunately, in life we find these in every walk of life. It is difficult to tell at times when someone is fully cloaked in honor or casting off his garments. Of course, there are many who simply never bothered to get dressed at all.

To describe those who truly have honor, I lean towards the words of Scott O’ Grady: “It wasn’t the reward that mattered or the recognition you might harvest. It was your depth of commitment, your quality of service, the product of your devotion — these were the things that counted in a life. When you gave purely, the honor came in the giving, and that was honor enough.”

Mark Twain said, “It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them.”

It is sad in life when one does not receive the respect or recognition he or she has worked to receive, but one can find solace in the fact that if you remain layered in the fabric of honor, you are the better person for it.

If we had more fathers teaching sons the importance of honor in the sense of one’s ability to build character and keep it throughout life, we certainly would see and read less bad news and find more people that we would want spend time talking with along any main street.

 

New promise

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A new year brings the promise of starting over. Many folks see it as
a point to make a resolution to complete or change things in their
life. Perhaps coming out of the Christmas season gives them hope to
make their lives better. In reality, each new day brings us the
chance to improve our lives. We can start that landscaping project we
always wanted to do. We can visit with people we care about for whom
we never seem to find the time. Remember that long list of repairs on
the “Honey do” list for quite a while. Maybe you can get them
done. We do not need special days like new years to re-create
ourselves. Life is an experience in constant growth and learning.
When we stop such growth, we are stuck in a rut. I once heard a wise
man say a rut is the closest thing to a grave. Now I’m not
advocating you go out and buy a Ferrari and spend a $1,000 for a
luxurious day at a Palm Springs spa. We all have to live within our
means and meet our responsibilities, that is what being an adult is
all about. There are people depending on us. Limits of budget and
responsibility do not preclude people from improving themselves and
learning throughout life. It may be as simple as getting up off the
couch and taking a leisurely walk with your loved ones around the
block; turning off the television and reading a good book to your
children: finding out more about the community you live in and as a
family enjoying all the sights, sounds, and activities including
entertainment, politics, clubs, volunteer organizations and church
activities. Surprise the people in your life with something they
would not expect you do. Do something that you generally depend on
another family member or employee to do. Give them a break, a day or
an hour or two off to do something they enjoy while you look after
their responsibilities. A new year’s resolution to lose weight,
quit smoking or take better care of yourself are important worthy
goals for anyone who truly wishes to attain them. Sometimes it is the
simple things which really make a difference in life. What will be
remembered by those we encounter? Have we really done our very best?
with every task today? Life can grow on you if you let it but the
funny thing is it helps to be a participant. After you grow up
though, you have to be your own coach and cheerleader, otherwise, you
won’t know when to get off the sidelines and get in the game.
What’s great is God put us in the driver’s seat it is up to us
however, to drive the car.

Do we struggle each day with finding the future?

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When you got up this morning, did you wonder what you were going to do today?

Most of us have a routine that we are locked in, work, school or family activities.

Each day is almost a reflection of the one before and these days sometimes seem like they stretch on year after year without much change.

It’s like we are living in Bill Murray’s film “Groundhog Day” with some slight deviations each day.
But the repetitive nature of life is somewhat a fallacy. Even though our course is familiar and similar to the previous day, in actuality every day is different.

God provides us endless opportunities on each day by allowing new and different people to cross our paths. Of course, it is up to us as to how we receive these encounters and whether they will make a difference in the day that is positive or negative.

Each morning as I come to my computer, and sit down at my desk, I am hopeful that there will be a call or an e-mail that will change the direction of one of the aspects of my career.

That does not mean I just sit and wait on such things; you have to get after them and help create opportunities for yourself.

But that to me is what makes each day different even though I sit in the same chair, type on the same keyboard and try to reduce the same piles of things to do that are scattered around my office.

I realize since my career crosses several areas of interest that some folks find of interest – acting, music, and writing, some might see a deviation in my norm as more exciting than one in their own life.

I am here to tell you, that is not the case. Excitement in life comes from being engaged in an activity, vocation, or endeavor that you love – one that brings your passion from your heart and places the smile on your face.

Recently, I celebrated in anticipation of Christmas with some friends, as the evening progressed laughter permeated the group lifting our hearts in the activity we shared. I realized as I came back to my home, how long it had been since I laughed like that, since a continuous smile had radiated from my lips.

Despite my doing what I love, the enthusiasm, the fervor for each day had subsided into a level of quiet doldrums. Sometimes holidays of any nature seem to even make it more pronounced.

While it shouldn’t be a revelation, I decided to declare a resolution to use each day to remember the joy, the hope, the love in the gifts that God has shared with me and to reflect that in my walk, my work, my life as I share and experience life with all those that I encounter.

If I can do that in 2022, it will be the best year ever, no matter what other excitement or problems may come my way.

So, put a smile on your face, a song in your heart and a lilt in your step as you glide gracefully through the rest of the year.

 

An Appalachian mountain elf

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The winds pounded upon the side of the house sitting in the shadow of Gravelly Spur Mountain and seeped beneath the cracks around the windows and doors letting the chill of winter in the walls warmed by the wood stacked and burning in the fireplace.

The sound of bells tinkled as they were pulled from a wood box which sat by the evergreen tree placed with love in the corner of the main room.

Pearl tied the small bells with yarn to the boughs. In a small pan, Grandma Kitty popped corn which would soon string into lengths to surround the tree from top to bottom.

“Well, that should be enough,” she said. “Everyone find a place and let’s get busy.”

The time spent stringing brought all the family ‘round to sit upon every open space as stories of Christmas passed were recalled and hopes and wishes for the coming yuletide rang through the laughter.

“I want a wagon,” Nellie said as Pearl used her to model the popcorn string instead of the tree.

Little Ma, Grandad Bill’s grandmother sat closest to the fire with her sewing in hand, refreshing the dress of the angel which he would soon place on the treetop when all was said and done.

Soon one of the children started singing “Oh, Little Town of Bethlehem,” and the rest would join in as the work continued.

A knock at the door brought Bill to find no one there. He stepped outside on the porch seeing no one in sight and not a footprint visible in the light smattering of snow on the ground.

“No one is around,” he said as he returned to his work.

“It was the mountain elf making sure we were hard at work preparing for Christmas morn,” Little Ma said.

“The mountain elf,” what’s that Pearl said as she rushed by her side at the fire.

“You see when our people came to the mountains, from Scotland, many of them came with their trunks filled with clothes and bits and pieces of the past from the old country. The elves crawled in alongside the bits and pieces and came to live here with us,” she said.

“What do the look like?” Pearl asked.

“I’ve never seen one but they say they are just like us but smaller,” she said. “They watch after the bits and pieces and make sure they are cared for.”

“Why did they bang on the door,” Pearl asked.

“The bells and this angel were some of the bits and pieces that came over and have passed down through the years,” she said. “They like to see us using them, it reminds them of home. Christmas is the time of year when we all think of home and what has come before and hopefully what will be. I think that is why they knocked, so they could look inside when the door opened. I think when we hang the bells and they ring, it brings them.”

“Do they help Santa on Christmas, is that why you call them an elf?” Pearl said.

“In a way, we are all mountain elves, we all tend to each other’s things, look after one another and help make sure that what is needed be gotten, if it can be got,” she said. “So I reckon they do help him, just like each of us do dear. Now, we best be gettin’ this tree decorated or Christmas will be come and gone and we will have missed it.”

The group begins to sing “Jingle Bells” as the popcorn is wrapped around the tree and the bells swing and ring. Pearl runs to look out the front window to see if a mountain elf may be spying from the other side.

The Christmas shine is for sharing

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“Here’s the boxes of outside lights,” I said as I handed them down the attic stairs to my father Floyd.
Next came the interior boxes that were spread on the floor of the living room for my mother Pearl to sift through. A few hops up and down the attic ladder and all the Christmas decorations were strewn on the living room floor.
The holly climbed the wall by our front door, the bushes were full and green in front of the red-brick ranch-style house and the greenery made a perfect location to hold up numerous strings of Christmas lights.
As we moved beyond Thanksgiving, it fell on my father and I to bring my childhood home’s exterior into the Christmas spirit.
“Dad, have you seen the extra light bulbs, we got several out in this string,” I said as I raised my head seeing him standing on a ladder placing a power cord.
The lights were long strings some with full-sized colored bulbs, some with smaller ones. Of course, the first task was making sure all the bulbs worked before placing them. This was my job as my dad ran the electrical cords providing the power.
“There still in the boxes,” he said, so I was up and sticking my hands down through a spider web of wires searching for the box of bulbs.
After getting all the lights in place the final act of exterior decorations was the placement of a large lighted Santa Claus face was hung in the holly by our front door.
By the time this was done we moved inside to set up the faux fireplace, where our stockings were hung and assisted mother with the placement of various items around the house including lighted candles for all the windows and in then we would assemble our artificial tree and add the decorations and lights.
We always worked together to make the tree look just right. We didn’t always have an artificial tree, that came when my health was so weak that live trees caused breathing issues.
We built some wonderful memories preparing for the Christmas season as friends and family flowed in and out of our brightly decorated home.  It was the backdrop of so much joy and laughter, tears of sorrow, and lessons learned.
I watched as both my mother and father welcomed others into our home who had no one to share the holidays with. I participated as my father refurbished bicycles and peddle cars for needy children, and as my mother collected and boxed foods for needy families. Christmas is always brighter with the shiny decorations that we wrap our live within. Let’s not forget that the greatest gift of Christmas was the baby Jesus that charged each of us with loving our neighbor as ourselves. Share the shine that God gave you in your life by loving your neighbors.