What’s happening to men and women?
Though I don’t consider myself a product of a different age, I look around and see how men and women, boys and girls, publicly act, dress, behave, treat each other, speak, and I ponder what happened.
My parents raised me with certain expectations of behavior especially in the presence of the opposite sex or anyone who is your senior. Respect was key. Now that does not mean you allow yourself to be maligned or used as a doormat, but you show respect in how you respond.
When you went to work, unless you were a tradesman or women, you dressed, as a man, suit and tie, unless the employer called for something more specific. For church, you wear your best as a form of respect in worship, whatever that was.
There were certain things you were expected to do, as a child or youth, you yielded to the discipline of the supervising adults, and you were on your very best behavior when in public or around strangers, or older family members or neighbors, always showing respect.
As a child, some of what I was taught that an adult male should do is:
not use a person’s first name unless given permission; not cuss; acknowledge people as you meet them at work or on the street allowing ladies to acknowledge you first, this can be done with a nod of the head since most folks do not wear hats for tipping anymore; remove your hat when entering a building and especially in the atmosphere of casual headwear, and never wear a hat at a table.
When it comes with interacting with ladies, a man should:
rise when a lady enters the room or stands in public or private social gatherings; open doors; offer an arm to a lady you know when entering or leaving a building or room or if the ground appears uneven; walk on the sidewalk with a lady away from traffic; give ladies your seat when none is available; assist with her chair at the table or help putting on a coat; and avoid impolite subjects.
Of course, the changes in the workplace and the social environment over the past few decades have changed what is being taught our youth and done by adults, and to conform in some situations, I have had to forego some of these teachings, so not to make other men uncomfortable in their lack of etiquette.
Still, I am blessed when in environs and among others in which these expected behaviors once again are shown and I readily fall back into these naturally.
With the outrage in the current status of the male-female relationships in the workplace and elsewhere, perhaps we need to return to the tried and true expectations of public interaction from several decades ago, so that opportunities for such behavior are eliminated.
Of course, many will scream that that is not the solution, that men and women should be treated the same way in all environments. Well, as the son of an early advocate of the Equal Rights Amendment, I can say from her teachings there is a balance that can be found. My mother taught me all that I shared while standing up for women’s rights. From her prospective as a business owner starting in the 1950s, respect was the key, having equal opportunities and equal pay did not mean women had to give up being a lady in whatever environment they chose to place themselves, in the board room, elected office or in the home.
