The sweet smell of honeysuckle lightly drifted over the back porch steps as I sit at the top of a thirty-step descent to the ground below. At three-years-old this was a surmountable achievement to navigate these without tumbling to the bottom. And in reality my mother was always watchfully standing by looking through the porch door as she ironed to make sure I did not rush beyond my abilities and go scampering down the steps.
“Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends,”
the book of John tells us. There are many professions that include in their description the possibility that their duties might place the person in harm’s way while serving others. Some we see regularly are police and firefighters. I have known police officers who have died in the line of duty and firefighters injured. We as a nation saw hundreds who were impacted 20 years ago in New York following the attack on 9/11.
This week in my hometown of Ringgold, Ga. we shared the unique opportunity to welcome home the remains of one of our hometown heroes from 71 years ago in Korea – Cpl. Henry Lewis Helms. Cpl. Helms and his family farmed south of the rural Georgia town when he volunteered for service during WWII. He would return to the service again in the late forties landing in Korea and in December 1950 he was reported by telegram to his folks that he was Missing in Action.
Family members remembered how his story and photos remained part of their lives as their late grandmother continued to wonder what became of her son. She would never learn his fate, but her daughter Evelyn Snyder of Ringgold, who was seven when he went missing was able to receive closure on her behalf, now as the survivor among her siblings.
Helms was a member of Company D, 1st Battalion, 32nd Infantry Regiment, 7th Infantry Division. He was reported missing in action on Dec. 2, 1950, when his unit was attacked by enemy forces near the Chosin Reservoir, North Korea. Following the battle, his remains could not be recovered.
On July 27, 2018, following the summit between President Donald Trump and North Korean Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un in June 2018, North Korea turned over 55 boxes, purported to contain the remains of American service members killed during the Korean War. The remains arrived at Joint Base Pearl Harbor-Hickam, Hawaii on Aug. 1, 2018, and were subsequently accessioned into the DPAA laboratory for identification.
To identify Helms’ remains, scientists from DPAA used anthropological analysis, as well as circumstantial evidence. Additionally, scientists from the Armed Forces Medical Examiner System used mitochondrial DNA (mtDNA), Y chromosome (Y-STR), and autosomal DNA (auSTR) analysis.
Several of Helms’ relatives contributed DNA for review to the identification process.
Helms’ name is recorded on the Courts of the Missing at the National Memorial Cemetery of the Pacific in Honolulu, along with the others who are still missing from the Korean War. A rosette will be placed next to his name to indicate he has been accounted for. He is also included on the Catoosa County Military Heroes War Memorial.
His sister Evelyn rode to Atlanta with Wilson Funeral Home personnel to bring her brother home on his final leg of the journey and on Saturday, May 22, the city came together to support his sister, nieces and nephews and cousins as they eulogized his sacrifice with a funeral and an interment in the city’s Anderson Memorial Gardens. The chapel was full, neighbors lined the procession route as Evelyn once again sat down in the passenger seat of the antique hearse that carried him.
The town gathered around the family in the cemetery as the military saluted his service with rifle fire, taps and the ceremonial folding and presentation of the coffin flag and musically bagpipes played “Amazing Grace.”
Evelyn shared that she was overwhelmed by the outpouring of love.
The work of local officials including Catoosa County Chairman Steven Henry brought together an amazing community salute which included honors by fire, police, emergency, veterans, motorcycle groups, and scouts.
There were many elements that helped to reflect our community’s respect for this family in recognition of Cpl. Helms sacrifice given for us. Saying that I was happy to see it would be an understatement. Seventy-one years is a long time, but I am thankful that the hearts of our town never forgot what it means for one of our sons to leave to serve our country and not return. Well, now Cpl. Helms did return and we were there for him, because he was in Korea for us.
As I turned the key and the engine on the gray Murray riding mower was balking, I sort of knew it was going to be one of those days.
With a little prompting though I was off and running. Many people love to mow, although I started mowing other people’s yards at about age nine, I really am not a mowing fan. In fact I sort of take the Los Angeles film set approach, let’s kill it and paint it green.
There are people that you meet in life sometimes become professional associates, some become friends, some become family.
As a child, I didn’t find it easy to make friends. Not because I did not try, but because I didn’t easily fit into the childhood molds and thus it took the other person to have to go beyond the norm to be a friend to me. I was more like an adult intellectually than a child, so oftentimes other kids couldn’t relate with me and would get bored. As a result, I often found myself alone and very use to those I allowed into my life falling short of my expectations and leaving me feeling friendless.
Despite that experience, I learned early in my life that we get to choose our friends and sometimes even an occasional person that we call family. The greatest challenge of choosing friends is sometimes those we choose fall short of the expectations we have built up for whatever level of friendship we place upon them.
Are they a best friend? Are they a close friend, an old friend? Are they simply in our circle of friends? Are they a friend of a friend?
Depending upon where in our friend hierarchy a person falls, what do we expect of them? A best friend is someone that you can rely upon. They are there in you low times, high times, poor times or rich times, they are simply a call away. They know your secrets; they are aware of your shortcomings and help to hold you accountable.
A close friend, comes to your aid when you call. They help you move; help you fix things when you need a hand. They may not be in your life every day, but once again they are a call away.
Sometimes old friends carry many of these same expectations. Distance and time may separate you from them but whatever level they once held remains despite the time and space that is between you. If a motivating experience brings you back together, they simply fall back into the rhythm that was previously left behind.
Last year, I took a fall, breaking my hip. This experience allowed me to see who was there giving me uplifting insights into my circle of friends. I was so blessed by all of those who reached out to me during that time and since.
What is the point of today’s meanderings? A lesson shared with me by my friend Arkansas fiddling treasure Violet Hensley, who is now 104: “If you want a friend, be a friend.”
What kind of friend are you? Are you giving all it takes to support those in your circle? Jesus shared with us to “Love our neighbor.” Neighbors are more than just the people who live next to you. It is amazing how if you are there for your neighbors, they return the favor in many cases, building your circle of friends.
What a wonderful world it would be if we all enjoyed large circles of friends!
I can remember going door to door as a youth collecting canned foods to place in paper bags with the blue letters marked upon the sides – Goodwill. This organization was one of the many that our family moved the young people in my circles to do work to benefit.
When parents work to instill in children the importance of giving their time and energies to help others, it provides solid stones upon which they may walk throughout their lives. I saw my parents take their last cash dollar and give it to someone who had even less than they did. I saw them both give endless hours to all types of efforts to uplift others.
Those lessons learned by watching their daily walk, changed my life and gave me a sense of hope that their generosity was the norm in the world. I assumed there would always be those that do the same. Unfortunately, despite that hope, in the intervening time I have discovered with each passing year I see fewer and fewer that reach beyond themselves.
That does not mean however that I have become jaded in what I have seen. I still loving caring people that reach into other people’s lives with their gifts of time, talents, and when needed money. Perhaps I see more of that because, those are the people I choose to live and serve beside.
In adulthood, I have seen many generous people give to others when needs arose. I have seen people who had nothing themselves, give to those who have even less. I have seen those who appear to be well situated also give. I personally have been the benefactor of other’s generosity when I faced hard times due to an unexpected accident.
As humans, as Americans, we are the greatest we can be when we put aside any differences that others place between us and we work together to make the world around us a better place. We uplift those that have less, we strive to create opportunities for people to improve their lives, whether through education, needed treatment, or simply eliminating barriers which seem to prevent a person from succeeding.
I have no idea what may be the need in your community. But we as individuals cannot solve the problems of the world or our own country. All we can do is make a difference locally. There are millions of us who can look around and find ways to change the communities we call home. Spread the smiles of hope, look to fill the voids, band together and find ways to bring your home folks together to create a better place to live for all your neighbors.
It is only locally that we can truly serve and uplift each other. Make the world a better place by starting at home in your neighborhood, your town, your county. Once we make things better in each of those, our country, our world will not only be better, but folks from outside will be less able to divide us, because we will know our neighbors’ true hearts of hope and help.
Today most folks don’t give a second thought if they get their clothes dirty to go and change into another outfit. Of late, I have found myself babying a electric dryer as I have been trying to get parts to keep it working, so I am a little more cautious about how many clothes I have to wash.
In the valley below the Gravelly Spur, an abundance of clothes in the closet was not something that most folks experienced.
The Wood boys, like everyone, were often faced with limited things to wear. Little Woody had long grown out of his white cotton dress that he wore in the shadow of his late mother.
The dresses provided mothers the added benefit to keep track of a child when they had to leave the room by lifting the old iron bedpost and placing it on the tail of the gown. That kept the toddlers from toddling into mischief.
By this point the young boy had graduated to two pairs of overalls and two shirts.
After working in the fields two days in a row, both pairs of his overalls and his two shirts were stained with red dirt and mud. He came to his older sister and said “I haven’t got anything to wear to school tomorrow.”
She took him into the bedroom reached into the closet, pulled out her extra dress, and laid it on the bed.
“Get that on and I’ll wash up your overalls.”
Little Woody didn’t have much choice in the matter it was either put the dress on or run around in his all together. So out of the clod covered overalls and into the gray colored dress he slipped.
So even though it was late in the day, she pulled out the washtub and the warshboard and scrubbed them overalls from rusty brown to a faded blue.
She took them out and hung them to dry on the clothesline, as one would normally do.
As the family went to sleep that night, the temperature dropped way below freezing. When the family slowly made their way out into the kitchen wiping the sleep from their eyes with the rooster’s crow, little Woody’s older sister sent one of the other boys to fetch the overalls while she cooked.
He brought them in frozen solid, straight as a board. He stands them in the corner taking a bit of delight in the feat.
Woody is standing there in her gray dress and says “What are we going to do, I can’t were those to school and I am sure not wearing this dress.”
She took the overalls and shirts and placed them on chairs by the fireplace and within just a short time the overalls and shirts had melted into something looking like the occupants had simply disappeared. She quickly ironed one of the shirts.
Woody could not wait to get out of the dress and as soon as the overalls were warm enough and before the iron had hit them, he was into one of the pairs and out of that dress.
While the experience might not have been so bad for little Woody if his older brothers did not see the whole thing as an opportunity for some good old fashion ribbing once they got to school.
When the Moss brothers asked the Wood boys what they had done the night before each mentioned some adventure they had but one of them had to say, “Woody didn’t do anything. He was afraid to come out of the house cause someone might see him wearing sister’s dress.”
Needless to say this was enough to get Little Woody’s blood to boiling and with a little more agitation its safe to say that clean pair of overalls picked up a little schoolyard dirt as the kidders found themselves on the receiving end of his frustration.
Good thing his sister washed both pairs of overalls or he’d been back in that dress all over again.
( From “A Mountain Pearl: Appalachian Reminiscing and Recipes” by Randall Franks)
There are many times in my life when I have searched for the reason someone that I care for becomes ill or suffers through some series of events.
I have sat by the bedside looking at tubes connected to someone’s body; and watched people struggle to find a new normal while coming back from a change in health.
My fascination with taking my fingers and flipping through the pages of a book began early in my life.
Beginning with the children’s books read by my mother, I soon found myself carried into other worlds created by the minds of authors. Once I started school, I soon spent any free time in the school library combing through the books looking for topics which were of interest. One of my early favorites was a biography of World War I hero Alvin C. York giving me a lifelong hero that still remains.
The comfort of the room, the quietness, the calm, and being surrounded by shelves of books began a fascination with these environs. Once I was old enough, I began volunteering my time, learning the inner workings of the library. Understanding the Dewey decimal system and the old-fashioned card catalog file system. I found I enjoyed reshelving books and often I found another topic that fascinated me. Also gaining an operational knowledge of all the audio-visual equipment that we had.
Mrs. Dantzler was my elementary librarian and she became an amazing encourager in my early life. As I rose to high school, the library continued to be a sanctuary. A greater level of books surrounded me and I once again became part of the volunteer library assistants. The librarians again became great influencers and the room provided a sanctuary from the social dynamics of high school.
Though I have not reached the dream – I always wanted to have a library room in my home filled with books that I have collected. I realized one day; it is not likely that I will reach that dream but even today holding my library card is special to me each time I walk into that building. It makes me feel comfortable as I did as a youth when I look around the many shelves of books.
There is nothing like holding a book between your two hands, while you step inside through your eyes to a new world that its words create. It’s like dreaming awake.
As so many now find their passageway through a book reader or computer, I still feel the printed book is the greatest source of this style of entertainment and I hope we never see the disappearance of the printed book.
If you have not visited your local public library in a while, I urge you, stop by, find out about their great programs for all ages. Walk through the aisles of book shelves, pick out a book, secure your library card and check it out. While its not a trip to an amusement park, turning the pages can certainly take you on rides that are thrilling, provide mystery, hope, fears and elation, and they are all between the covers of a book.
John Donne wrote centuries ago “No man is an island.” Sometimes I think we may run our lives in a fashion that we think we are an island.
If we are blessed, we surround ourselves with family, friends, acquaintances, but are they really part of us and we a part of them? There are those who seldom find their way from their self-exile on their personal island to actually share with others a sunset, a walk on the beach or watching a kite bounce in the sea breeze.
In the mirror sometimes I see the man looking back at me and wonder if he ever realized where he would be today.
If the choices he made would add to the sands of an island exile or build bridges connecting him to the piece of continent making him part of the main, as Donne described. Have I broadened the world of the little boy that once stood there in the mirror or have I simply augmented his isolation?
Sometimes in life though moments occur, things are said, news arrives that reminds us solidly, that Donne left an indelible footprint in the sand with his premise that no man is an island. No matter how isolated we may choose to become in life, in soul, in mind, we are connected.
In years past it was by letter and phone calls, today our own private islands are equipped with an umbilical cord connecting us to the internet. As I sit at my computer screen, I can check the status of “Friends” on numerous websites and stay connected to see what is happening. I can find out the latest news without even carrying on a conversation because it is all there to see in bits and bytes.
Does that make my island more connected or less connected? I can sustain an illusion of being connected to thousands of people now where before it was maybe a few dozen on Sunday at church or at musical events.
I saw where this new technology helps me stay connected. While reviewing the myriad of sites where I stay connected. Some time ago I found a note from a childhood friend desiring to right some perceived wrongs and wipe the slate clean. That served as a wonderful bridge re-establishing connection.
Sadly, on numerous occasions, I have learned of the passing of those who at some point in my life were in my close circle of friends but time and distance had moved us along in life. Those moments always leave me with the sense of loss that is expected. A deep spirit of melancholy will often walk in behind it. Thankfully though, just a little later I will feel the spirit of thankfulness that allowed us to share the walk that we did as I pan through the memories for the gold nuggets within.
We are in a time when we need to realize that those who we hold close are the friends who will sustain us in times of trouble.
Those friends will be there to help us when we are in need, or protect our backs when folks are coming at us from what seems all sides.
While we cherish old friends, if something happened in your town tomorrow, do you have a circle of people you could rely upon? Can you come together to make sure your town comes through a crisis? Say a tornado, a major fire, or some other unexpected happening? If not, I encourage you to start building that group of friends that care about your neighborhood, town, county, region. Those are the friends who will make a difference in your life in good times and bad.
Help make a difference in your own life; make friends you know you can depend upon and together you can make a difference in the world you and your family call home. Live local – not on the internet.
Water faucet and refrigerator leaks, garbage disposal freezes from
working, blower motor on heating and air conditioning unit wears out,
dryer timer goes out, and the blinkers on my cars quit.
There is an old saying that says “When it rains, it pours.” I
feel like I have been on a never-ending marathon of late, fixing one
failed system after another.
I simply rise up in the morning wondering what the next adventure
might be that I will have to fulfill.
Thankfully, my folks gave me some great primers on life insisting I
learn the basics about most elementary fixes to household and
automotive problems.
Despite the skills learned and the available information now
available from experts on the web, inevitably, as I progress through
the basic repairs, I have learned one great lesson. There will always
be one more thing that is needed to complete the job.
Whether it’s another tool, or another needed part – because one did
not work or it turns out it was actually something else which was the
problem; I seem to always be ending my efforts, getting into my Ford
Explorer and driving off to the hardware store, being sure to use my
arm signals, to deposit more in the Ace or Junior’s Hardware bank.
Why is that the nature of such experiences? I must have made three
trips just yesterday to only have to return again today still trying
to complete the same project.
I, however, set out this weekend to break the mold. I vaguely
remember my late mother often commenting that my dad spent much of
his time rushing off to buy a tool that he already had but could not
find. A trend that has blessed me as I inherited his tool collection.
But that being beside the point, I really think this time allowed him
to clear his head from a tough fix-it job.
So, this time before I headed off for my hardware fix, I spent some
time going through my many boxes of stored away items to make sure I
didn’t already have what I needed. Guess what? I didn’t. So back
into my Ford Explorer I went for another adventure scanning the
aisles at the hardware store.
I guess I need to invest some money in hardware stocks. One thing’s
for sure, their profits will be up because of me and all those like
me.
