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Chasing Success: A Personal Odyssey

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What is success? Some would say it’s landing the job that represents the pinnacle of one’s vocation. Others might point to the amassing of money, houses, cars, or other assets. We watch television shows where celebrities appear, dressed in fine clothes and adorned with jewels, seeming to have it all. Perhaps that’s the version of success some strive to achieve. If one could write a popular book, find their stride as an athlete, or invent something everyone needs, those would certainly be seen as measures of success.

From my late parents’ perspective, success was being loved, raising a family, paying all your bills, helping others when needs arose, and ending each year hopefully a little better off financially than the year before.

In short, success is the achievement of something desired, planned, or attempted, or the gaining of fame or prosperity. However, I believe success is defined by each of us based on our own set of circumstances and the vision we have for our life or the aspirations we hold for those we love. Thus, it’s not set in stone but rather a moving target.

Encouraged by my parents, I became the first in my extended family to attend and graduate from college. I worked my way through it and still take great pride in this achievement. However, apart from holding my own among other college graduates, I’ve seen little additional success from that degree hanging on my wall.

God’s intervention in my life led me to work within the gifts He bestowed upon my spirit—music, acting, and writing. My parents also gifted me with a common-sense approach to life and business.

I recall a time when I was riding in a stretch black limousine from one of the nicest hotels in a major American city. With me were my long-time agent and a beautiful entertainer as my date. I remember looking up at the skyscrapers, thinking how blessed I was. We were dressed to the nines, on our way to a celebrity event with a red carpet. On the opposite side of the street were bleachers filled with spectators, and along the red carpet, every imaginable media outlet was there to interview those walking it. When the limo stopped, the red carpet announcer introduced me as I stepped out. There were rousing cheers from the crowd. I turned to assist my guest and my agent, both ladies, from the car, and we then walked the carpet, fielding questions before joining other acting and music celebrities at the event. To many, I’m sure I embodied their vision of success.

Yet, after returning home, I was back to figuring out which hat to shake for my next paycheck. From many such experiences in life, I have concluded that in order to grab a hold of success, one must work hard every day to reach new goals in each area—a new book, a new single or album, another tour, perhaps a new film or TV show role.

While I have managed to reach a certain level of success in several fields, there’s still much more to achieve to truly claim the brass ring in any of these endeavors.

Looking back at my life through my parents’ definition of success, I’ve succeeded in some ways, while in others, I’ve failed miserably. God provides the means to pay my bills. I’ve been blessed with the time to help others. However, I never managed to raise a family, which I regret more each day. Some years end with less financial success than the previous one. Am I loved? I would say sometimes I feel I am, other times I feel I am not. So, have I found success?

From my childhood understanding of success, the answer might be no. But after many years of creating my own understanding of success, I would say, yes. I am blessed that my career has allowed me to do things others might only dream about and, at the same time, to have a positive, encouraging impact on many.

Will I ever reach a point where I can say, “Well, I have reached the pinnacle of success”? I hope not. If there’s ever a day I don’t get up with a goal to accomplish, then I won’t feel like a success. Instead, I’d likely feel more useless.

Reflecting on my journey, I realize that my evolving perception of success has not only shaped my life but has also influenced those around me. When I was younger, success seemed like a destination marked by accolades and public recognition. Now, I see it as a journey, one that’s enriched by personal growth, the love we share, and the lives we touch. This shift in perspective has taught me to value the encouragement I offer others, the mentorship I provide, and the quiet moments of joy in my work over the fleeting applause of the public. As I’ve grown, so too has my definition of success, becoming less about the external markers and more about internal peace and contribution to others. This evolution in my understanding might be my true success, influencing not just my path but also those who have walked alongside me or followed my journey from afar.

So, in life, define what success is to you. Strive towards the path to reach it. Put the throttle forward, and go full steam ahead. Good luck!

Is life meant to be hard?

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Oftentimes we are blessed by a surprise. Something unexpectedly falls into our life that adds to our well being. Our mind, our heart, our hopes become enriched by the surprise.
 
We can look throughout our lives when such a surprise might come along at a point when our life seems to be foundering and we just can’t seem to put one foot in front of the other.
 
Now, I don’t mean our health is necessarily challenged. Sometimes it’s just our spirit that is discouraged by a heaping helping of what other’s throw upon our lives individually, at school, or at work. Occasionally, it is the impact of what is going on in the world that we receive from our daily dose of news.
 
We go to the mailbox, and there is a stack of bills. While they are generally expected, sometimes their constant call upon our means bring us down. Then the unexpected comes along, your vehicle breaks down, your body decides to offer a new ache, pain or illness that persists requiring a visit to a doctor, then tests are needed, and you either don’t have insurance or not paid enough of your deductible.
 
Perhaps the kids need something for school that wasn’t budgeted, or perhaps they want to go to summer camp and there’s not enough money but you will try to find a way to not disappoint.
 
Most all of these things are common to each of us. Are they hard? Yes, they can be depending on our situation and nature. But we all share these experiences in common.
Do we get to uniquely complain about any of these? Not really. There is nothing special about us in these things.
 
Sometimes we do have a unique experience that makes life especially hard. Those folks should earn a chance at least for our ear if they need it.
 
An uplifting surprise, such as a gift of attention, a word of encouragement, something handmade given, a God wink from above, can make our world more bearable even if it is just a moment in time.
 
Is life hard? It can be. But I think back upon my ancestors who I knew as a child and the lives they endured, the hardships and work we wouldn’t even be able to perform. But they managed to seem to be some of the happiest and most giving people I ever know. Now you might not see it by looking, because we Appalachians are so stoic. Our happiness is for those who we are close to.
 
Even if you are stoic too, find some happiness to share with those close to you. Every now and again reach beyond that fold and uplift a stranger. Make life less hard.

Communication is the key to life

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Communication – the exchange of thoughts, messages, or information, as by speech, signals, writing, or behavior.
Most of us begin this process from the first time we point at something to indicate we want it. After we slowly master “Mama” and “Dada,” we eventually grow our vocabulary and with the right training we become equipped for life.

Over time we gain experience and add to the tools that help us establish the ability to in some cases to communicate clearly with a minimal amount of effort.

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What happened to people of character?

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When I was a child, my parents instilled in me a lengthy list of expected behaviors for a man in training.
Behaviors such as stand when shaking a man’s hand and look him in the eyes, a woman’s hand is taken not shaken, a promise made is a promise kept, speak truth and dispel lies of others, secrets are meant to be kept; and stand against a bully and protect those they seek to harm. These are just a few of years of lessons intertwined in my raising to adulthood.
I was also a devotee of the Arthurian legends and codes of honor adhered by early knights and heroes who were inspired by those stories. Ultimately, I discovered many of my ancestors were among those inspirees.
In addition, a great influence were the films and television shows of the 1940s-1960s which taught us lessons and provided models in life to inspire us to be more than we are such as “The Andy Griffith Show,” “Ozzie and Harriet,” “The Rifleman,” and so many more.
With each passing year, I look out upon those who find their way into our view, so-called celebrities, politicians, athletes and so many whom this world now places upon some kind of pedestal. I have to shake my head as I see images, films and tv shows, hear comments they say, see actions they do, and wonder what has become of the men and women who once inspired us, who led us to greater heights in life and various fields of endeavor.
I know there are many good and decent people who live their lives and make a difference in their communities. I have met many. As a journalist, I have tried to tell their stories. Unfortunately, those are not the people who our culture uplifts onto pedestals.
I long for the days of heroes who strived to lives of character. No matter what the reality, the public face was kept appropriate so not to destroy how the public perceived who they were.
We have actors, singers, and social media celebrities who wallow in excessive behavior that reflects an inability to understand right from wrong, indulgence in sin, and existing in pettiness.
I have seen elected officials whose deeds are not honorable, words are not true, who are accoladed in their efforts as their actions hurt those they serve.
I do not know what the answer is, except, the future of character is within our hands. We have the ability to make ourselves better in how we carry ourselves and interact with other people. We can raise the next generation with better role models and stronger life influencing guidance that uplifts others rather than tearing down. We can turn off the movies and television shows that degrade the quality of our lives and not support the advertisers which make those possible.
Any who feel they are among those whose character reflects all things good and inspiring, should place themselves in situations so others can see their lives and be inspired. Run for political office; become involved in major activities and events in your community; take on a community problem and solve it; and mentor youth and adults in talents where you excel.
Modern culture is only our friend if it reflects our expectations of what life should be. Shape it, don’t let it shape you and yours.

Is the richness of debate a dying art?

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I am learning that the field of earnest debate between people is becoming an art that is no longer appreciated nor desired by many.
I will never forget the joy as a youth of learning the skills of debate, of working to bring someone who was on the other side of an issue into your interpretation of the situation.
Often as a youth, I was able to see two intelligent individuals with differing opinions, sometimes different philosophies, sit down and revel in the joy of presenting a well-thought-out position sometimes shifting to think on their feet as their opponent took a different approach.
In recent months, I have looked on so many online discussions on various topics facing our country, our communities. Many are so entrenched in their beliefs at an emotional level without any foundation of reasonable facts to debate or an ability to articulate their thoughts so others might be persuaded to their way of thinking.
If you have taken the time to read the writings of our founding fathers, you would know that often their debates were lengthy, with participants arguing points endlessly in hopes of winning others to their point of view.
Some among my family forebearers were party to these debates: my cousin John Adams was known for saying one should “Always stand on principle even if you stand alone.” His lengthy heated discussions with Thomas Jefferson helped create our founding document.
A few years later another family member James Madison fostered into our American system, the representative government we have. He said that “it is much more convenient to prevent the passage of a law, than declare it void after it is passed.”
So, in some respects, the representative form of government is an opportunity to put forward all potential sides, discuss potential problems that might arise from the approach and make the best decision to act or not to act which will best benefit all those concerned. In our form of government often an elected official must bring a long list of fellow elected officials on board to carry an idea forward into fruition.
Sadly, today, we see very little desire to do so, those elected seem to be singing to their own choir rather than working towards bringing others on board to their way of thinking.
The ability to present a good case and the ability to debate any challenges is a strong set of skills.
Unfortunately, I am coming to the conclusion that these abilities are becoming something which is no longer taught and no longer appreciated. It is so much easier just to eliminate someone that does not think like you from your friend list, cancel them, rather than possibly learning something from them.
The richness of the American experience is one that allows people of differing backgrounds, thoughts, beliefs the opportunity to come together discuss ideas and all learn something from one another. That was what our education, journalistic and political systems, and even the spice of community lives and friendships were about – growth through debate, new choices through learning from such exchange, and often a new selected path forward whether individually or collectively.
Though I am always hopeful, I do wonder whether we may ever see the vibrancy of what we once shared as an enlightened society ever again.