Do you let grudges rule your life?

/in /by

As I walk down the street, I see two men walking ahead of me. At a bit of a distance they see each other, one quickly turns, looks both ways, crosses the street and continues his trek down the street.

One might conclude he was going to do something on the other side of the street, but if the observer knows the back story of the two men, he might realize this is the latest rebirth within the exiting man of a long-standing grudge.

A grudge is defined by the Cambridge dictionary as “a strong feeling of anger and dislike for a person you feel has treated you badly.”

Well, who has not had someone treat them badly in their life whether it was in personal relationships, business dealings or simply in social situations. It is for sure if you hang on to each small slight, combined with the bigger ones, pretty soon your bag of grudges that you are carrying around could be the size of a steamer trunk fully packed for a sail around the world.

What do you do with all those things in the trunk?

Is dragging it along behind you weighting down your future, your successes and your sanity?

I certainly carried grudges along with me in life. From childhood bullies to girls who did me wrong, co-workers or bosses who slighted me, or folks who attacked me publicly. It is not easy to let go of those hurts but with time and effort you can.

I will never forget when I was able to let go of those who made may youth a torment for me – fearful of of their verbal or physical abuse. For more than a decade those angers were packed away in my heavily steamer trunk, allowing me to from time to time take them out and fume over what I lost during those years.

One day, I realized carrying the weight was only hurting me, threw those grudges overboard, and I was freed from that emotional bondage. I forgave them all and today I could stand side by side with any of them without anger or a thought of retaliation. Other than possibly a passing thought of how surreal the renewed experience is.

Now in this case, all those people were long gone from my life, unlikely to return – that is until the advent of social media. But how do you handle the people who are still within your life? Those people you might meet walking down the street.

If you are magnanimous in your personality and your ability to forgive – as we all should be.

You would stay your course, speak politely as you pass, no matter how the other party reacts, and keep living your life. You are slowly taking take back your control and chipping away at that internal grudge making it smaller with each deed until one day, you will unpack it from your trunk.

Unless the person for which you carry a grudge has an actual perceived power over you, such as a boss or a relative who is there, this approach may sustain you.

Those who are in your life constantly, well that is a bit more of a challenge that you must handle based upon the impact this grudge is having on your life. If it consumes you every waking thought, you need to seek some professional help to learn how to get past it. Ultimately forgiveness must occur. But even if you forgive, the other party’s behavior might continue to add weight to what you are carrying.

Then I suggest, you must decide whether that impact on your well being should decide if you continue working around that person, or if family, do you choose to no longer spend time with them.

I come from a culture that holds lifelong grudges – even generational grudges passed from father to son. These sometimes take the form of what we refer to as feuds. In past generations, these did lead to physical fights, shootings, injuries and deaths. Another alternative practice is shunning – where the other party is dead to you – you did not acknowledge, recognize, respond, or see them even if they were next to you in a room.

I have chosen in my life not to feud. There are only few actions worth carrying that baggage and I pray I or my family do not suffer those. I have tried the shunning route, but that is exhausting, especially if the other person crosses your path a lot. It also give them power because you have to be conscious of them when they are around even when you are trying to ignore the person.

The best path is to destroy the grudge, forgive and move on if that is at all possible.

Prayer and Bible study as helped me accomplish my letting go. Should you have any grudges that you carry, I pray you find a path that frees you from their weight.

A turning of the soil

/in /by

I checked the oil in the engines, filled the gas, sprayed a little quick start in the carburetor. A couple of pulls of the handle and the engine was clicking.

Rolling it around to the garden, I began my efforts to break up the ground and prepare for seeding.

I had been waiting for window after rain was falling every three days. The ground had already broken from drying out after five days since rain.

It was hard at first but soon the tiller was making good work of the effort. After a few hours of turning, and some raking, the ground is ready.

Now I have to develop a new plan for what I will plant this season.

Last year was my first year back at gardening after a very long break. I always enjoyed the effort but I am using these new adventures to try new vegetables I have never grown.

I have found reconnecting with the soil, digging in the dirt, feeling the sun upon me, touches my soul. As I work, I talk, sometimes internally, sometimes out loud. I am speaking to the seeds I plant, the green that grows from them, and to God.

No matter what may be troubling my soul, the daily happenings, the news, the experience brings a peace that comes from that conversation.

Only reading the verses of the Bible have brought me a similar rest in my Spirit.

The touch of the earth upon my hands allows me to feel closer to God’s creation.

Seeing what springs forth this year I know will bring a smile to my face and allow me to reconnect to the feelings shared with each past generation in my family whose survival was dependent upon what survived to harvest.

If you do not already garden, I encourage you to make the effort this year. Even if it’s just a few plants in pots on a patio, please consider connecting to your inner farmer and reconnect with God’s gifts.

If you get more ambitious and turn your yard into an agricultural center, you might want to pull out your grandmother’s canning recipes too and brush up on those.

May the Lord bless your efforts in abundance!

From where do the words come?

/in /by

I looked between the lines in the book trying to see the meaning behind the words.

When I was in school, I was taught there was always a deeper meaning beneath the lines.

The construction of the sentences and their order held a greater importance than simply what I read.

That is one of the reasons we went through English and World Literature, wasn’t it?

Ever since I started writing many years ago, I have always tried to draw on those inspirations to find a unique turn of phrase. I tried time and time again to aggrandize with alliteration, to ease a reader into an unexpected message buried like a golden nugget glistening from beneath a light covering of soil along the creek bank just waiting to be picked up.

Beginning with pen, then the typewriter keys, and now the computer keyboard, the letters flow from my fingertips trying to inspire, amuse, engage, challenge, and reflect.

I look to those who brought me to want to write: Charles Dickens, Mark Twain, William Faulkner, and William Shakespeare and so many others.

They told stories of their times in a way that still resonates with readers as their characters jump off the page giving them a life. Those characters could almost pull up a chair and sit down next to you.

I have always wanted to write so the characters or real-life subjects seem touchable and real.

Articles, screenplays, books and columns have led me down an amazing path that allows me to search deeper within my soul while looking at the human experience and trying to find more than the words.

As I work on one book and soon begin two others, I wonder sometimes where I will find what is needed.

Within your soul, can you find words that are more?

Can you create a story that makes people laugh with ease?

Are you inspired by those you have met within your world?

Have you ever tried picking up a pen, or sitting down and putting your thoughts into words.

Who knows maybe you could be the next writer whose words span the ages.

Give it a try. Build upon the stories and things you know. Who knows, maybe you will be the next great writer.

Walking into our memories

/in /by

Our lives intertwine with friends and family. We choose the friends, sometimes by geographical vicinity, sometimes by group participation, and sometimes by career.

Sometimes having friends is by trial and error. Relationships can offer an uplifting experience or sometimes make a toxic mix within our lives. Thus the trial and error.

Family relationships add the same opportunities for a great lifetime experience or a mixture of misery over time.

There is an old saying “You can choose your friends but you can’t choose your family.”

One of the greatest commonalities we share with family though is we often love and share in the lives of people who have invested or simply been present in our lives. Grandparents, uncles, aunts, parents or other relatives who in some way made a positive impact.

Once those folks are called to their heavenly home, our family members are usually the only ones with which we can generally share memories of those gone loved ones.

Although memories of many of my loved ones run through my thoughts and dreams, seldom may I sit down and recall a specific time, place or memory with someone unless its a family member.

I recently was able to do that and it was such an uplifting experience to smile or laugh over those missed. To share in the places, people and experiences who shaped our lives, for me it left me life in a better place. I know however there are those out there for whom such would carry them in the opposite direction. The key to a successful and happy life beyond sustaining a growing relationship with Jesus Christ, is to building a life without toxic relationships.

Allow people into your life whether friend or family based on whether their presence adds to your existence. I don’t mean financially, I mean emotionally. There are a lot of folks who bring a lot of excess baggage along with them.

Now, choosing this path does not mean you will not find loneliness in your existence. Many times we give up on some of the fun, to avoid being in the midst of some misery.

We choose what makes up our lives. If you want a happier life, gravitate towards positive people who add to your days. If you want happier memories to walk within, share them with those who can make them bring a smile.

Bluegrass is in the air

/in /by

I pulled into the gates of the festival grounds and before I pulled even a few feet beyond the entrance, I could hear the musical notes flowing on the wind from the distance of the trees.

I could see people carrying their guitars, banjos and other instruments along the dirt road as I slowly made my way through the parking field and into the campground.

I passed jam session after jam session in the campground, “Blue Moon of Kentucky,” emanated from one, “Foggy Mountain Breakdown” from another. Folks smiled and waved as I went by, as I neared the artist parking area. Those greetings made me feel right at home.

For years, this experience is one which I looked forward to almost every weekend once Spring arrived and throughout the year until the fall.

Bluegrass Festivals became a way of life and the people who attended week after week became extended family as we shared laughs, meals, talks, jam sessions and shows.

I once compared the experience like visiting Mayberry – we had our Aunt Beas, our Opies, Andys, Barneys, Gomers and Goobers.
I grew up performing at these types of events across the United States. It didn’t matter where we came from, what we believed, we were all part of the bluegrass family. We either played it or loved to listen to it and as long as we treated each other with respect, helped one another when needed, we were welcomed with smiles and usually an offer of hospitality where ever we went.

It was in this environment that I learned so much about music around campfires, listening and playing with pickers who just loved to play and occasionally the professionals who joined in the fun. As my stage opportunities grew and I performed at more and more events, I learned so much about performing and entertaining audiences. Those lessons only come by standing in front of an audience and learning what makes them smile, applaud, laugh or move to any variety of emotions.

This time of year always gets my feet to itching wanting to return to these type of environs. While these types of events are fewer and farther between than in my youth, they are still scattered across the United States. There are dozens of talented bluegrass artists entertaining audiences traveling across the country which fill the stages at these events.

If you have never attended a bluegrass festival, I encourage you to go outside your comfort zone and take one in. One you might try is the 51st Dr. Ralph Stanley Hills of Home Festival in McClure, Va. https://drralphstanleyfestival.com/ or check out https://ibma.org/ for other bluegrass info.

Bring your lawn chairs, pay your admission and a little money to buy something to eat from the concession stand, and enjoy the music. If you play, bring your instrument and find a jam session. Be friendly while there and you may just make some new friends. Bluegrass blessings!

Those darn socks

/in /by

I turned on the television and found a movie of interest. I set a stack of holey socks beside me along with my sewing kit.

I turned the sock inside out. I slipped the light bulb up inside and positioned it near the heel.

I threaded the white thread into the needle and tied a triple knot at its end. I then pushed the needle into the edge of the hole in the sock, and pulled it through. Unfortunately, it pulled straight through, so I added a couple of more knots at the end of the thread.

I pushed it through again and this time it held, so I repeated the process of stitching the hole shut.

The stack of socks with a mixture of holes in the heel or toe is about 25 deep, so the process continues as I pushed on with the task.

As I grew tired of the routine, I varied by changing the thread and sewing up holes in my boxer shots.

When I finish the process on the shorts and socks, I will gain several months of additional wear out of these items until they once again need some sewing to any new holes that develop.

Buying a bit of thread is a lot more economical than purchasing a new packet of socks or boxers.

While enjoying a movie, I am refilling my underwear drawer with useful items rather than throwing these into the dust rag storage bag. They may be there eventually but not while there is still wear in them.

While many of my jeans are now extremely stylish with well worn holes. Some are in places where I feel they should not be, so I recently picked up some jeans at the thrift store which will become patches for the inside of my jeans to fill those less that appropriate holes.

I am blessed that my folks taught me that anything you may do to lengthen the use of any item, is a productive use of your time. Fixing appliances rather than going and buying a new one. In most cases today though, you can’t buy parts, so you are stuck with filling the landfill.

In many ways life is filled with items that are ragged, worn, or seemingly on its last legs.

I often feel this way about my own physical or mental condition. Life can be a daunting experience that leaves us feeling like we could use a bit of stitching ourselves, maybe some stuffing here and there could be shifted or added to make us feel better. Alas, that is not possible for us to make such improvements ourselves. We can however work on our minds and bodies in a more long-term fashion.

A regular exercise routine can improve strength and energy. Study through reading, attending study groups or classes may encourage your mental health allowing you to uplift your outlook. Perhaps its you soul that could use a bit of polish. Pick up the Bible or a variety of biblical devotionals which you may find that will touch your daily outlook upon yourselves and others.

When you sit down and watch television each evening, think about things you might do that will allow you to improve your situation, so when you get up from watching it, you have made progress on something while you have also been entertained.

Using your time wisely and in a way that improves your life will change your world in a positive manner. Maybe starting by sewing up your socks will be a good start.

Passing days can be more

/in /by

Often times in life we fold over the calendar page only to see a date that marks a memory, an anniversary, a birthday, which we may or may not wish to experience again.

We mark our lives by milestones – graduations, weddings, funerals, and all that happens in between.

I recently read a wonderful article about the life of a cousin who passed at 103. She lived an amazing life touching many and impacting the history of my maternal ancestral home. Amazingly, I had reached out to her just a few weeks back but her hearing did not allow me to speak to her by phone, so I was going to write a letter that did not get completed in time.

For me, there are dates which pop out on the calendar for some reason. My grandma Kitty’s birthday – Jan. 5. My parents birth and death days. Though there are many fond Christmas memories from childhood, once I hit adulthood, Christmases became less pleasant, and the anniversaries are not a favorite but like everyone else, I manage often filling the void with special routines.

For years, I kept my life cycles by a calendar of annual musical performances returning to towns and festivals with music instruments in hand to bring a smile and hopefully move a crowd of enthusiastic music lovers.

While the annual cycles have fell by the wayside, I still fondly think of those times as the dates float by on the folding calendar page.

Is there a reason that we should dread the turning calendar page?

No, I don’t think so. Despite the passage of time and the inevitable wrinkles and graying hair that accumulates the more pages you toss away.

The special days should be ceased and cherished. The happy ones should be made happier with each passing opportunity. Create a new special memory attached to the day. If the memory is sad, find a way to create some happiness around it. With each passing happy moment, the accumulation of those over time, might just place the sadness deeper into the past.

It is up to us to decide whether we will be a slave to the past, or create opportunities that make tomorrow better for us.

Generations have come and gone upon whose shoulders we stand. Many knew little happiness, many knew much happiness. No matter their lot, it is safe to say they likely wanted more for their offspring and those that came beyond.

We owe it to them to make the best of the time we are afforded, not to dwell on the bad and the sad but work to improve what is around us with all our efforts.

Make a smile today, even if it simply while staring in the mirror. Your effort will be returned, even if its just by your reflection!

A quarter saved

/in /by

I placed the quarter in the hand of Uncle Sam and hit its trigger and the coin dropped down into the open bag below clicking to the bottom of the bank. It was a fun to save in a similar way my grandparent’s generation had.

While it taught me the tendency to save throughout my life, now as I look back, I wonder if the colorful design of Uncle Sam and his satchel was subliminal to train me to also put my money in the hands of Uncle Sam.

Don’t get me wrong; I have always given him his share. Needless to say, I didn’t have to smile like I did when I put it in Uncle Sam’s hand as a child.

Mechanical banks always were a fascination to me as a child and they were fun to watch as they collected their holdings.

My folks instilled in me a strong sense of saving. I had several small banks as a child until the day my mother went with me to open my own bank account. I saved for many of my big childhood items: the bicycle I wanted – an English racer; a push mower to start a lawnmower business; and many other things through the years.

Putting money back to pay for future bills, replace a vehicle, retirement, emergencies, and a myriad of other needs depending on the source of the revenue.

Those who came out of The Great Depression definitely had a different perspective about how to make the most of everything. Things just didn’t go in the trash if there was any chance something might be repurposed. Paper towels and napkins were torn in two. Aluminum foil and when salvageable plastic wrap was washed for reuse. Coffee grounds and tea bags were used twice. Clothes got patches. Sock holes were repaired.

Many had learned most of the lessons of their parents and could garden, can and store foods, fix vehicles, tools, appliances and most anything. They had learned the skills of hunting, fishing and trapping and how to process the meat those endeavors provided.

For those who are blessed to have some of these skills passed to them, you will have a leg up as we all may walk an unfamiliar path in the coming months.

I remember the stories they shared about the bank runs and the thousands of closures that followed in the 1930s, but the Great Depression followed.

As I write this, we saw our first modern day large bank run which resulted in closure. Although after the news of the closure, it appears a government plan may be in place to salvage things. But even if they do, no matter what they say, that means someone else has to pay for it. Two other banks closed in the same week. Hopefully, that will be the end of the process.

I have always been called an optimist. In case my optimism does not pan out, brush up on your skills, live local, strengthen friendships and prepare.

TV’s “In the Heat of the Night” hits 35

/in /by

We mark our lives in time by the passage of time. We celebrate birthdays and anniversaries and if we should hit longevity in our experiences, it generally involves many other people acknowledging the moment in our live.

In the United States, collectively, we just passed a marker in television history. The TV police drama series “In the Heat of the Night” debuted on NBC on March 6, 1988 – 35 years ago. A racially driven story line reaching back to the novels of John Ball and the Academy Award winning 1967 film by the same name but set in the 1980s South.

When it was started production only eight episodes were ordered. While creating so few is not unusual today, then a season order was 22 episodes. It gives me the feeling that those in charge at the networks didn’t really see the staying power of such a show and the appeal it would gain from the viewers.

Those eight episodes made the show a runaway hit appealing to the residents of small and medium size towns across the country and with them they took city viewers who connected with the small town experience.

In creating the show the developers working with MGM/UA selected Carroll O’Connor as “Chief Bill Gillespie” and Howard Rollins as “Det. Virgil Tibbs” to lead an amazing ensemble of actors who brought to life the fictitious town of Sparta, Mississippi. For those of you from that state, you likely know there is a crossroads community by that name but not like the community on the screen in the series.

From left are In the Heat of the Night stars David Hart “Parker Williams,” Randall Franks “Officer Randy Goode,” and Alan Autry “Bubba Skinner” in the Sparta Police squad room. (Photo: Randall Franks Media – Ned D. Burris)

Casting directors and producers found an amazing mix of actors to depict the characters created for the new series – Alan Autry as “Bubba Skinner,” David Hart as “Parker Williams,” Christian Le Blanc as “Junior Abernathy” and Hugh O’Connor as “Lonnie Jamison” and Peter Gabb as “Horace Goode.”

That was the original police cast that instilled a desire for viewers to tune in every week.

As the network locked in a second season of 22 episodes and MGM/UA moved its on location filming surroundings from Hammond, Louisiana to Covington, Georgia, they also changed up the cast a bit leaving the characters of Junior Abernathy and Horace Goode. They added actor Geoffrey Thorne as “Willson Sweet.”

Covington and Georgia welcomed the show as it began it’s second season filming in August of 1988 and many new adventures. Hosting a TV series was a major economic coup for both the state and a medium size town like Covington. So, all the cast moved to their new hometown crossing their fingers for continued success of all the team to create engaging stories that viewers would connect with.

And connect they did. The show became a mainstay in the top 30 weekly shows. Alongside “Matlock” and “Midnight Caller,” NBC’s Tuesday night lineup ruled the ratings.

Audiences tuned in to see a group of actors playing small town Southerners who each week reacted to the impact of the problems and topics every community across America was dealing with at some level. How the writers, actors and directors depicted these issues, offered America options in how to overcome such issues, how everyone can get along together no matter our differences, how to live together in a community, and how to succeed against adversities.

Yes, it was generally a weekly story about a crime, murder, solving mysteries, and hopefully getting the bad guys and girls. But we watched because we wanted to see how these characters that became beloved by audiences were impacted and responded to whatever faced them.

The show went on to produce what they described as eight seasons of hour episodes and a few movies filming from 1988-1994 while airing both on NBC and eventually moving to CBS. At it’s height of foreign first run, 150 countries were watching the guys and girls of Sparta and the show was top 10 in several nations. The cast and crew garnered numerous award nominations for the Golden Globes, Emmys, and Image and others. And they took home 2 Image Awards, and American Cinema Editors Award, and Carroll O’Connor received an Emmy.

“In the Heat of the Night” stands alongside the greatest police dramas in TV history, and among the few Southern dramas ever produced for episodic television. We tend to look back nostalgically, while looking more harshly at our current time. The period of this show was not an easy one in America, it was a racially centered drama in a time when our country was dealing with several racially centered issues that were dominating news cycles.

The show from my prospective was a release valve, that allowed us to collectively look at issues, and find the reality of our communities within the stories, and the strengths we have when working together rather than being divided. I am thankful for the writers who wrote the stories, the directors that guided their creation, the actors who were the face of the American South in that period and even today.

While I was not there in the beginning, in the fall of 1988, the directors and producers created a character for a young country music artist who had an earnest desire to act, I was that young actor and “Officer Randy Goode” was born giving me five years of working with “Bubba,” “Parker,” “Lonnie” “Willson,” “Chief Gillespie” and “Det. Tibbs” and all those who eventually joined the police cast, some among them: Crystal Fox, Dee Shaw, C.C. Taylor, Mark Johnson, Harvey Lee and Barbara Lee-Belmonte, Sharon Pratt and John Webb. I created with these amazing people and lived a life in Sparta, a favorite town for so many TV viewers.

As we mark the 35th of the beginning, all I can say is it was “Sho nuff” a grand old time and I want to thank all of you who watched, laughed and cried along with our efforts while maybe playing some checkers along with me. Those who watched will get the last bit. You can learn more by visiting www.RandallFranks.com/in-the-heat-of-the-night or check out my Encouragers book series for more photos and in-depth experiences with stars and guest stars.

The Spirit within

/in /by

Have you ever been in a room, and someone walks in and with your body you feel in your center mass of your chest a quiver.

As they draw closer to you, the disturbance within increases in its frequency of movement. Of course, exposing this in a public situation would be uncomfortable, so instead you hold your composure and let it pass. Hopefully, the situation does not place the person in your orbit.

I have experienced this and over the years as I moved on with my life, where I had the opportunity have watched those that the quiver warned me about. I have surmised that the Spirit within me was warning me that there was something within that person that was not coming from a good place, and they did not intend the best through their actions.

There have been occasions when such a person did come into my orbit, and it was all that I could do to withstand the impact of that exposure.

I have had similar experiences while seeing people on the news or while watching a TV show or a movie.

This feeling is much like a magnet when it pushes the same pole end apart. It’s there to warn us to protect ourselves against the evil around us.

That comes in many packages, sometimes with legs, sometimes through what we watch, hear, read, and see.

If you intake things that uplift your Spirit, reinforce it and feed it with positive, uplifting messages, love for your fellow man, then that will be reflected in the actions of your heart.
If you allow things that damage your Spirit, that expose you to darkness, evil, sadness, then your Spirit hardens and the warning quiver fades because you have in essence chosen to ignore it, then your actions will more and more reflect those negatives that you allow to invade your body.

When I have not ignored its warnings, that Spirit has guided me safely through much of my life.

Although like any headstrong child – of any age – during some periods and on some days, I have lost my way, giving in to other senses and feelings allowing those to overshadow the Spirit. That has always been to my detriment, emotionally, sometimes physically and financially.

When it occurs, it weakens my Spirit, depletes my energy and scatters my focus. It saddens me when I realize that I stepped outside the blessings my companion offers.

I believe that the Spirit is God’s way to be present in our lives and to walk with us in all that we do. When we ignore it, we are choosing to follow our own will, which is a choice that He gave us. Sometimes though when we follow the Pied Piper down the path, at some point we will have to pay the piper. Our hope then must be that if we choose to walk another path that it does not lead to our destruction or into the total hardening of the Spirit within us, so we no longer recognize ourselves.

Let’s fill our minds, our hearts, our eyes, our ears with the uplifting Word and with images, stories, films and TV shows, that reinforce the good within us. Let’s cast off that which is meant to draw us into a downward spiral with some aspect of destruction inevitable.